updates, updates, updates... i bought a guitar.
that i never have time to practice.
we completed "rock legends".
sooo different from "rave on", in it's entirety. probably for the best, but still disappointing.
i'm not sick. thank god.
however, a month later, i still am rocking some serious bruising. swell. two weeks? psh.
i've spent waaaay too much money lately, on music, on books, on dresses, on food. oy. i enjoy dan and i enjoy casey. the more others leave, the more the relationships change. for the better, definitely. nothing to do after 10 pm... last night was 'family game night'... crush. thank goodness... let's hope it's worth the wait. silence is the most intolerable of answers. -mason cooley i can't forget you
or anything you say
you sang that song in my ear...
love is a puzzle
some pieces they adjoin
it's not like that with us
but i keep flipping that coin first you'll...
say you never had love so divine
but it will go from
more than ever
to not enough
in no time
you will push and
you will push un-
til you push me away...
i guess for me
there's been a few
who've walked up smiling
and drawn a line
between so far
and from now on
yes a big glowing
line in time
and i've been disappointed
i've been heartbroken
yes i too have
loved from afar when i run in the dark, daniel
to a place that's vast, daniel
under a sheet of rain in my heart
daniel, i dream of home
but in a goodbye bed
with my arms around your neck
into our love the tears crept
just catch in the eye of the storm
and as my heart ran round
my dreams pulled me from the ground
forever to search for the future
for home again, for home again you could love me
yeah, you've entertained the thought
but you say i'm not the one
so i wish you'd rather not why does every
goddamn daydream
become about you?
you here with me,
me there with you,
you wanting this
as badly as i do.
you did, once...
twice, really, whenever
it suits your fancy. i read a whole book,
because it was
something to do.
i read a whole book,
because it distracted
me from you.
your absence
overwhelms me,
swallows me
whole. i'm trapped,
in silence. i listen
for your voice, your
laugh. i squint
my eyes and try
to make your face
appear. the details
of you are fuzzy in
my mind, fading. i hope if i stand here long enough
you won't be able to resist all the
reasons you once loved me
and they'll spill over into the present
once more
and you'll kiss my cheek
and bygones will be bygones
until tomorrow
when this all gets played out again
i celebrate my temporary victory
knowing it won't last
but opening my heart to you anyway
because i've never been able not to why do you insist on telling me every dirty,
awful thing you've done?
i think you think it will make me love
you less
get you off the hook, or pedestal i've put
you on, rather
instead, it sinks me further down in
the pit below you
muddy and dank
i'm drowning below you
i'm drowing just to be near you
it's like a fast for your love
and i'm starving you know, it's possible to love someone else, you say
yeah, right, i snort
he's got my heart locked in a shoebox under his bed
there's no use trying to get it back
every time i try, it is just confirmed even more that it is forever his
come on, i say, let's go before i make the same mistake again
will you distract me from my past tonight?
i'll try to keep all my thoughts on you
i'm sorry to make you second fiddle to an asshole's first seat
he refuses to give it up
not wanting the position
but not letting go of it either
just revelling in his ability to keep it
an intriguing happening for him
a heartbreak repeat for me
musicians are so cruel
with their knock knock let's start this all over again
get up, get dressed
hold on, this needs a playlist
walls up, space in place
slowly moving closer
closer still until you're all i can see, all i can breathe
can't it stay like this forever?
trying so hard to make this memory last
as i already know the moment won't i wanna breathe the black you wear
run my fingers through your hair and top your tattooed body
talk to me in frnech and tease me turn me on and get me going
your voice is deadly deep and damaging to me this tragedy of longing
can't feel free if i don't have you oh, where did i go wrong, my love?
what petty crime was i found guilty of?
what better time to find a brand new day?
oh, wanderlust away. go ahead, let him break your heart
in the end, if you're smart- you'll break his better
and he'll regret it
with every
little
shattered
piece let me fall asleep in your arms
we can look out at the stars
maybe they'll be shining just for us
because we finally got it right
we'll fall asleep together tonight
and from now on
unto forever i want you to open every single drawer
show me all your secrets
not be afraid
i'll hold your face in both my hands
and i say i love you even more
i didn't know it was possible i wan tthat wall to fall
tumble
crumble
and never go back up
can you imagine the beauty of a wall-less existence?
oh, to dream
instant love
come on, let it go
you know you're the only one i want
pull me in, pull me under i watched you sleep until 5 am
cause i wanted to be part of your dreaming
oh love, don't leave me by myself
or i'm bound to lose my meaning motherfucker, i love you
every goddamn irritating thing about you
i find adorable, irresistable, charming
i love the delight you find in watching me think
your stupid laugh, your devious grin
every single touch
your candle drawer
your pajama pant collection c'mon skinny love just last the year...
i told you to be patient
i told you to be fine
i told you to be balanced
i told you to be kind
in the morning i'll be with you...
now all your love is wasted?
then who the hell was i?
who will love you?
who will fight?
who will fall far behind? all i can offer you are farmer chords, these simple
rhymes and you painted in words
you can sing this when alone or whistle it through
your teeth and it
will feel like home no matter how far you'll be from
my lonely arms
outstretched just beyond
your reach singing, "ooh,
baby, please..." i've been down this road before
i walk out the door
leave you on the floor...
looks like the rain's pouring down on me
it's drowning me now
and all i want to do is come back home
and this old corduroy jacket is not keeping me dry
but i can't think of what else to try
that's why the best thing i can give to you
is for me to go
leave you alone
you got growing up to do regressing to lyrics on xanga, but so worth it. just getting it out of my system. empty
nothing left
i would blame you
but i just don't have the
energy
strength
to do it anymore | 
