| | the 99th break-up letter... is it really a break-up letter, when, in the end, we just get back together again?
for someone with so many kerouac-ian thoughts lately, i may have made a decision in the complete opposite direction...
a year...
the feeling of sitting in that car that night
so big and yet so small
so close and yet so far
broken-hearted and yet relieved
i'm still not sure we made the right choice
i still wonder if we should have fought harder
loved deeper
been more open
i am the one who broke us down
broke us up
with my anxieties
fears
insecurities
i still am trying to decide if i can live with the fallout
wondering if time will give me a chance to undo things
we've grown so far apart
i'm not even sure i know you anymore
that i even want to
but i miss you
your stupid hat
the way your hand held mine
the way you looked at me
falling asleep together
regret is an emotion hard to let go
in other news, i want to learn how to play the guitar. i have for years, but a little more actively as of recent. looking strongly into purchasing an acoustic... making lists of songs i want to learn how to play seems to help.
"portions for foxes"... an oldie but a goodie that seems to be our song... sigh. i would have opted for one with a happier ending.
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| | Posted 4/24/2009 2:10 AM - 2 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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